Heal your wounded inner child

The wounds we experience as a child shape our entire life. Inner child is simply the repressed parts of our mind, usually aspects that were wounded during the years of our childhood — usually from birth to age 7. Each inner child will be the same age and developmental stage that they were at the time the trauma occurred. And whatever patterns or beliefs they formed at that time will continue to play out for the rest of your life.

We hold within ourselves the essence of the children we once were. As we grow up, once part of us becomes an adult but another part stays as a child. This inner child is our emotional selves. Even if we had a good childhood, part of us still feels wounded, abandoned, rejected, guilty, ashamed, traumatised, needing approval, not good enough, hurt and lonely.

The wounded inner child develops many survival patterns including:

Fixing Others, People Pleasing, Co-Dependency, Hyper-vigilance,  Unmet emotional needs, Need to prove themselves, Tolerates abusive behaviour, Attracts narcissistic partners, Seeks external validation, Has difficulty setting healthy boundaries.

When we meet and heal our wounded inner child, we free ourselves from emotional pain like anger, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt and shame. Thus healing our inner child is essential to make us feel free, whole and complete.

Children need unconditional love, nurturing, compassion and acceptance from their parents/carers in order to grow and mature. Adults who did not receive these gifts in childhood must learn self-love, self-accept, and/or impulse control. Inner child work is about changing our relationship with our wounded inner child from one of self-loathing and rejection to one of love and acceptance. When healing occurs, the wounded inner child can heal and grow, and his/her life becomes much more meaningful, joyful, and fulfilling.

When a child goes through a traumatic event like abuse at home, he can either fight/flight or freeze. Because the child cannot fight with this parents nor can he run away from his house, he just freezes. As a result, his body will shut down, he will become numb and wont be able to feel any emotions. As he grows up, he is still in that ‘frozen state’ as his nervous system has never been able to recover and come back to normal.

When we are still carrying childhood wounds into our adult lives, they may show up in your outer life as problematic communications, anger, dysfunctional relationships, addictions, codependency or other related issues. They may leave us feeling sad, lonely, abandoned or distrustful. Most of these issues were established out of earlier experiences which were learned in early childhood. These patterns and beliefs can be healed allowing you to change your perspective and move into a place of emotional freedom.

Anyone can benefit from Inner Child Healing, but it is especially helpful for those who have had a difficult childhood, including those who have:

  • Physical, verbal or sexual abuse
  • Mother/ father wounds
  • Feel abandoned
  • Feel traumatised- PTSD
  • Social anxiety
  • Relationship issues with partner
  • Bullying at school
  • Had controlling parents or teachers
  • Adopted
  • Narcissistic parents
  • Feel like they are the black sheep of the family
  • Been in a car or home accident
  • Forced to be the ‘good girl’ or ‘obedient boy’
  • Was very much overprotected and suppressed at home
  • Been constantly criticized at home
  • Very strict parenting
  • Had to adhere to every rules and regulations
  • Been severely punished by parents, teachers or authority
  • Been laughed, bullied, ridiculed by friends at school
  • Been put down by teacher in the class
  • Not allowed to express your true feelings
  • Been told showing emotions or crying is wrong especially boys and men
  • Been forced to fulfill your parents expectations or dreams
  • Growing up with parents who had addictions at home
  • Carrying lots of trapped emotions like shame, guilt, fear, anger, rage

What type of parenting did you receive?

When parents are caught up in their own addictions and trauma, they aren’t capable of noticing their child’s emotions, nor can they relate to their child as he/she really is.

If one or both of your parents were:

The Narcissistic Parent, The Authoritarian Parent, The Controlling parent, The Permissive Parent, The Bereaved Parent: Divorced or Widowed, The Addicted Parent, The Depressed Parent, The Workaholic Parent,  The Achievement/ Perfection Focused Parent, it is highly likely that inner child has suffered from emotional neglect and in need of love, compassion, nurturing and healing.

Mother Wounds

When your Mother Wound gets triggered, you may experience any emotion from anger, anxiety, sadness & loss, to shame or guilt. You may become so consumed and flooded with emotions that it is difficult to know what to do. You may feel inadequate, even be unable to do your usual tasks. You may feel this heavy feeling and constant self-blame for things that you haven’t done and self-doubt. Over time this may lead to anxiety and depression.

Father Wounds

The father wound, which refers to father absenteeism, whether emotionally or/and physically, and/or your father being very critical, negative and even abusive character, can impact individuals and their future relationships in so many ways.

Benefits of healing the wounded Inner Child

If you notice that you are reliving your childhood issues like feeling rejected, unloved, abandoned, lonely especially in relationships, it is time to do inner child work. Childhood issues reappear in adulthood so we can heal them and not repeat the same patterns.

So, who needs or would benefit from Inner Child Healing? Well, all of us! It’s been said that the vast majority of us are carrying emotional baggage from our childhood.

You may have feelings of not being good enough, low self-worth, feeling insecure, fear of abandonment, struggle with self-doubt or suffer from anxiety. You may people please rescue, need to fix or seek external validation. Or may be you have difficulty speaking up or saying no, have trouble setting boundaries and have codependency patterning and feel stuck. These are all indications of unhealed wounds and can show up in any or all areas of our life.

You may be feeling stuck, unseen and you’re becoming aware of the pull deep within and the knowing that you’re here to do something big but you don’t know what it is or how to get there.

Inner Child Healing will improve your romantic relationships

Both mother and father wounds may impact your relationships and it may be difficult it is for you to let people close to you. On the other hand, you may be constantly worried about people not liking you or being loyal to you. You may seek constant reassurance that you are accepted and your partner is there for you.

Unless we are aware of it, we often seek the same dynamic in our romantic relationships as we experienced in our childhood. You may have an unconscious wish to repair the early father/mother wounds by having a relationship with a person that creates similar and familiar feelings within you as you experienced in your childhood. We often gravitate towards something that feels familiar because at least we know what are dealing with. If you often choose emotionally unavailable partners, you may experience a lot of relationship anxiety. The partner is for their own unresolved childhood trauma is unable to offer you the security you need and you may end up engaging in various behaviours to get their attention, such as nagging, excessive messaging, oversharing or other behaviours that may feel unsettling for your partner. Also if you get triggered a lot in a relationship, it is clear sign that one or both partners are operating from their wounded inner child. 

How Does Inner Child Healing work?

Inner child healing is a very simple but powerful healing! It is a gentle process where you are safely guided to meet your wounded inner child. In short, the child’s emotions (anger, sadness, fear, shame, guilt, hurt, etc) that were frozen and repressed are acknowledged and felt. And this is so liberating! Imagine how you would feel when you release these painful emotions from your body!

With many of these early beliefs, it is possible to regress right back to the very first time our Inner Child developed this belief. Using our adult perspective, we can change this belief, and then develop a new understanding about the circumstances of our childhood. We also replace the old belief with an empowering one. We can start to remember that we are deeply lovable and create a new positive belief patterns about ourselves at a deep unconscious level. We also use the integrate some special qualities that are inherent within us such as feelings of self-confidence, strength and self-acceptance among others. It is a very empowering technique.

As well as working on the nervous system, emotions, beliefs, the somatic level, we also work on patterns of behaviour like:

  • people pleasing
  • co-dependency
  • seek external validation
  • looking to fix others than healing oneself
  • fear of abandonment
  • not meeting own emotional needs
  • cannot set boundaries
  • attracts narcissistic partners
  • does not feel safe and is hyper-vilgilant

Inner child work helps us to tune in and feel our feelings, sensations and emotions, creating a a safe space to release, validate and accept all our emotions and our shadow.

All Inner Child Healing sessions are different as they are tailored for your individual needs and may include the following:

  • finding out the source of the original trauma -the beliefs and emotional holding-anger, shame, guilt, fear, confusion, grief
  • giving the child a voice- by allowing the child to express and release unsaid feelings and words, he/she feels heard and thus empowered
  • fulfilling unmet needs
  • learn any lessons from that childhood experience
  • moving to resolution and closure. You feel an inner peace after integration.

Inner Child Healing is a simple and safe process which often results in powerful life changing transformations. How is getting stuck in your life costing you? Is it time to free yourself and change your life?

Are you ready?

to meet your inner child?

to identify, discharge and release childhood trauma?

validate your experiences as a child? 

to listen what your inner child has to say?

to embrace and free your inner child?

to free yourself from emotional baggage you have been carrying for years?

voice your opinion to authority which you could not do as a child

It is time to heal the trauma, abuse or event that shut you down at childhood. It holds your truth and freedom.

Often just 3 sessions of Inner child Healing will produce powerful shift for clients. One for mother wounds, one for father wounds and last one for healing the baby in the womb or other issues that come up. After the session, I will show you ways you can contact your inner child and talk to him/her at anytime.

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